And really, just stop saying “should” to yourself about your thoughts and feelings in any context. You feel how you feel. The things in your head are the things in your head. You can’t change either directly through sheer force of will. You can only change what you do. Stop beating yourself up for who and what you are right now–it isn’t productive. Focus on moving forward.
You are allowed to have really good days for no real reason and really bad ones for no real reason. You are allowed to feel like shit and ten minutes later, think everything in the world is perfect. You dont need a reason to feel, emotions are a great part of the human experience, don’t deny them.